Ah, the world wide web: That which connects each one of us to the remotest parts of the world, and vice versa. That which some have claimed will eventually seal the seemingly imminent globalization of the world as we know it, thereby creating a world in which All is one, and One is all...
Ah, Google, that which was invented by a bunch of nerdlings who are now billionaires with gold-diggers giving each other acrylic nail scratches to get at 'em.
And now, Google, in an attempt to fulfill that promise which they made to us humble searchers when they began to add extra "original" features to their site(s?) and buying out all our most beloved webspots, has done something extra noble. Something which shall change how we perceive the world and those in it forever. Something that will make concrete that ever impending global philosophy: All is one, and One is all...
What is it, you ask? I give you: Google Translations! Oh yes, surely with this ingenious addition to the Google Empire, the communication barrier will be a thing of the past! All obstacles thus far impeding the success of the information highway will be overcome, and all shall be able to learn from each other's culture until all is one!
For example, take this little tidbit from what appears to be a blog entitled Espacio Filmica: "Lamentably, in Spanish, to pronounce the name of some personajillo of these only supposes arduous task, for more inri with polvorón in the mouth now that are approached… Nevertheless, the brilliant Goscinny worked the names of the personages in French language well, always maintaining games of words simply shining."
Do you see now? Do you? This page, though originally written in Spanish, has been translated into English using advanced Google programming. And what can we learn from this example? I'll tell you! It's just no wonder we couldn't understand this garble, as even when translated by the experts at Google, nothing said in foreign language makes any sense. Now that Google has revealed this truth to the world, everyone will inevitably decide to speak the same language, most likely English Webspeak! Colon Right Parentheses!
Nonexistent Reader No. 1: Wow, they're doing satire on this blog now?
Nonexistent Reader No. 2: Maybe it means...satire is awesome? Perhaps??
Sunday, July 8, 2007
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
Arena (Anthem) Rock
If you are looking to rock out (and if you are not, I simply do not wish to know you, sir or perhaps lady), but are not sure how best to proceed, you should familiarize yourself with the following awesome entry. Maybe you have an upcoming road trip? barbecue? funeral you'd like to liven up? In any case, your answer is the most awesome genre of music ever conceived: Arena rock, also known as anthem rock. It's characterized by its "big" sound (achieved by layering vocals, layering guitar tracks or having two or more guitars, as well as cowbell, keyboards, and sundry other instruments) and its majorly awesome singability. It's generally upbeat. Frequently it's self-conscious, referencing rocking within the actual song (for example, Ted Nugent's "Free-For-All" or Twisted Sister's "I Wanna Rock"). Often it has helpful suggestions for how best to rock (for example, Metal Health's "Bang Your Head," almost a how-to for the rocker initiate). The one thing it always is, though, is Awesome.
Here's a sample playlist.
1. Roll with the Changes (REO Speedwagon)
2. Hold the Line (Toto)
3. I Want You to Want Me (Cheap Trick) You have to get the live version, so you can say the line with him at the beginning- he doesn't sing it, he just says it in this I'm-trying-to-be-reasonable-with-you tone: "I want YOU, to want ME." Then the drums start.
4. Peace of Mind (Boston) This may be the pinnacle of the genre.
5. Sweet Child O' Mine (Guns & Roses) Never has such a sad subject been shredded to SO HARD. Singing along is a must, so make ready the throat lozenges. And remember, the part where he goes "NOW-NOW-NOW-NOW-NOW-NOW NOOW" starts at five minutes twenty-nine seconds in.
6. Carry on Wayward Son (Kansas)
7. Don't Bring Me Down (Electric Light Orchestra) Don't bring me dooooooown/ rooosh? It's not important what that means. What matters is it's fun to say.
8. Any Way You Want It (Journey) Man, this song is great. While we're on the subject of Journey, as long as you don't take yourself too seriously, you could replace this entry with "Don't Stop Believin'" and rock just as hard if not harder. I cannot recommend for this playlist, however, the song "Faithfully," no matter how fun you find it to sing "I get the joy of redisCOVERing you!!" It would only bring us down (see #7).
9. Barracuda (Heart) You can fudge most of the lines if you get the tune right, but make sure your timing's accurate for the "ooooh....Barracu-da!" part.
10. Mr. Roboto (Styx) The words are easy to memorize and sing along to, but that's not the best part: this is possibly the most physically involving song on the list. You got your air drums, your air keyboard, AND your requisite robot dance at the beginning where the synthesized voice is going "Domo arrigoto, Mr. Roboto, domo."
Well, there you have it: you're well on your way to rocking to the most awesome genre of music ever conceived. But rock safely.
for more info: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arena_rock
Here's a sample playlist.
1. Roll with the Changes (REO Speedwagon)
2. Hold the Line (Toto)
3. I Want You to Want Me (Cheap Trick) You have to get the live version, so you can say the line with him at the beginning- he doesn't sing it, he just says it in this I'm-trying-to-be-reasonable-with-you tone: "I want YOU, to want ME." Then the drums start.
4. Peace of Mind (Boston) This may be the pinnacle of the genre.
5. Sweet Child O' Mine (Guns & Roses) Never has such a sad subject been shredded to SO HARD. Singing along is a must, so make ready the throat lozenges. And remember, the part where he goes "NOW-NOW-NOW-NOW-NOW-NOW NOOW" starts at five minutes twenty-nine seconds in.
6. Carry on Wayward Son (Kansas)
7. Don't Bring Me Down (Electric Light Orchestra) Don't bring me dooooooown/ rooosh? It's not important what that means. What matters is it's fun to say.
8. Any Way You Want It (Journey) Man, this song is great. While we're on the subject of Journey, as long as you don't take yourself too seriously, you could replace this entry with "Don't Stop Believin'" and rock just as hard if not harder. I cannot recommend for this playlist, however, the song "Faithfully," no matter how fun you find it to sing "I get the joy of redisCOVERing you!!" It would only bring us down (see #7).
9. Barracuda (Heart) You can fudge most of the lines if you get the tune right, but make sure your timing's accurate for the "ooooh....Barracu-da!" part.
10. Mr. Roboto (Styx) The words are easy to memorize and sing along to, but that's not the best part: this is possibly the most physically involving song on the list. You got your air drums, your air keyboard, AND your requisite robot dance at the beginning where the synthesized voice is going "Domo arrigoto, Mr. Roboto, domo."
Well, there you have it: you're well on your way to rocking to the most awesome genre of music ever conceived. But rock safely.
for more info: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arena_rock
Monday, July 2, 2007
NEW AUTHOR
Guess who finally got their act together!
If you guessed the Pursuit of Awesome's awesome new author then, yippee for you! You are correct. She will begin posting things promptly, and, as a fairly competent writer, will maybe bring a touch of class heretofore unseen on within this blog.
Maybe.
You will have to check back Tuesday to find out.
If you guessed the Pursuit of Awesome's awesome new author then, yippee for you! You are correct. She will begin posting things promptly, and, as a fairly competent writer, will maybe bring a touch of class heretofore unseen on within this blog.
Maybe.
You will have to check back Tuesday to find out.
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